Promises I Made My Mother by Sam Haskell

Author:Sam Haskell [Haskell, Sam]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-345-51657-2
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Published: 2009-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

The willingness to seek understanding allows relationships, careers, and life in general to work better than they would if we stayed attached to one strict way of behaving without considering the alternatives. If you can't understand, adapt, and change, you're doomed to repeat the same behaviors and get the same nonresults. Einstein said that's the definition of insanity, right?

Occasionally I've had to go to unusual lengths to find understanding.

When John Agoglia was the head of business affairs at NBC, I was William Morris's liaison to the network. Every deal I made for a client or a series ended up on Agoglia's desk.

He treated me horribly. He didn't return phone calls in a timely manner, he was not collaborative, he never allowed me to win anything, and I just felt that he flat out didn't like me worth a damn.

One day, while I was walking around the Paramount lot with a couple of friends, we passed some big display cases that contained Oscars won by the studio, and some old movie costumes. I pointed at one, a Revolutionary War uniform, that was all shot up and covered with bloody bullet holes and burns.

“Oh my God!” I thought—out loud. “That's the suit I wore last week during my meeting with John Agoglia!”

I had no idea why Agoglia was so contentious with me. What had I done? Why didn't he like me? I needed desperately to understand and resolve the situation, so I bought him a gift and asked to have a meeting. When he opened the box, he saw two pairs of boxing gloves. “Let's put them on,” I said. “We obviously have a problem, and it's time to figure out what it is and settle it.”

Agoglia didn't take it as a serious invitation to box, but he got the message. He said, “You know what? Everybody else likes you and gives you what you want. I figured I needed to be the other side of that.” We did try on the gloves, though, then put them aside and shared a good laugh.

Now we were getting somewhere. He wanted to help me understand.

“I just want to make a good deal,” I explained. “I'm not here to take advantage of you. I want to make a deal where I'm happy and you're happy. And I want to be your friend.”

From then on, though he didn't just roll over and give me whatever I wanted, the anger and questioning were gone. I had been direct, we understood each other, and we have remained friends ever since.

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